For some time, I have been realizing that I am a man of opinions (really…who isn’t). However, a lot of my opinions, when they first tease my brain, often tend to by cynical or critical. I don’t mind that, nor do I think that is wrong. As long as I move into proactivity with my oft assessments of what I observe, experience, hear, taste, or stumbled upon. I have made it my goal that if I were to entertain this thoughts (trust me, they are entertaining) I have to be a man that is willing to try to find new ways, new solutions, or advice.
So basically, I want to create a space on my blog, where I can write (for better or for worse) my initial “jerk” thoughts. Reason being, is that I believe many will resonnate with me and many others will disagree with me. But hey! Iron sharpens iron…right?
Understand this: I am not writing my final resolve. Just initial thoughts. So they will be raw, offensive, cynical, sarcastic, and other thangs. That is why I label this as my “jerk” essays…
Enjoy….
MY “JERK” ESSAY #1
As I ponder how to plant a church, one that could be classified as non-denominational, how do we stay true to that characteristic? Especially so in our expression? In our teaching? In our house churches? In our corporate gatherings? Wouldn’t it be more fitting to be a mosaic of expressions? In our corporate worship, do we have to do the 3 song, sermon (sermonette), 2 song close routine? Do we have to have a stage? Do we have to have a pulpit? Could the music be played on the same level as others? Could we do liturgy in a ‘sexy’ way? Spice it up. Grab some other traditions and expressions from other denominations to create a mosaic? Audience seating? Kneeling prayer? Hymns? Hllsong? Powerpoint? No music…? A communal effort to teaching? Keep corporate gathering services at a maintable size to achieve this and have multiple services? How large do we grow prior planting another?
This whole little essay is the worst one I ever wrote because it does not flow well. It is not orderly and hard to follow. The best way I can explain the rationale for that is because this is what happens to an individual who goes down the path of asking why do we do what we do? Can we do other things? Is it ok to say that the Gospel is bigger than forgiveness of sins? Especially on Easter? Isn’t the tomb a thing of Hope for the world on many levels? Is it ok to adopt other denominational traditions? It is hard to follow a consistent train of thought.
I have been preaching at a Baptist church. This opportunity has been a blessing and a curse for me. It has been a blessing in the fact that I got to meet some wonderful people and was able to worship with them corporately. It was a curse for me because I have became troubled with the fact that this church is dying and it was a curse because I got to experience worshipping with them.
The best definition that I can give is this: UNPOLISHED. No rehearsal. No professional clergy. No professional worship leader. Only one or two of the 30 people can actually sing. No one has a sense of time. Sometimes they had a piano player other times they played a CD of organs playing hymns or some very early contemporary worship music. Unpolished and Unashamed. They just worshipped together and loved it. They loved being with each other and they loved the Lord. Their hearts were in the right place when it came to mission, but it appears that the wind is out of their sails. I remember moments of worship, where the volunteer worship leader would stop the piano player or CD because he lost where he was in the song. I remember moments of the congregation breaking out in laughter because of the song! It was great and refreshing. I got the sense of authenticity and genuineness. There was no front, no insincerity, no acting, and no false pretenses. It wasn’t rehearsed or timed. The transitions were miserable, but I liked it. I never knew when I was going up to preach and neither did they.
One Sunday, I went from First Baptist church to my home church. I came from an unpolished worship celebration to an extremely polished worship celebration. The people up front (warning: sound bytes of judgementalism coming) looked like they have been programmed to act that way. Eyes closed in some intense emotional experience that makes those in the crowd wonder what they are experiencing that I’m not. Timing down cold. How many times to sing verses and chorus, down cold. Transitions…down cold. Powerpoint, creative. Speaking language that a lot of folks didn’t understand, but hey that’s the lingo. We raise hands. We clap and cheer, which may confuse others, are we applauding the music (not that good) or Jesus? It is so predictable. Every Sunday, the same thing. The same script. Different feel good songs. Occasional spiritual encounters corporately and a lot of ok already. (I am miserable wretch…I can’t stop my thoughts…please forgive my opinions).
I would of never (at least now) of seen it or felt this tension inside of me so clearly if I didn’t preach at First Baptist for some time. I was an outsider looking in again. Understand me; I couldn’t handle the worship experiences at First Baptist all the time. I long for corporate spiritual experiences that our family has experienced at our home church. I love them. I love the songs we sing. But, it is so scripted. So rehearsed. So polished that I am starting to believe that applause is for the band and not Jesus. It is so rehearsed that people in the crowd are confused to what do during that time. Do I sing with, do I just listen or what? What about the Holy Spirit? What about organic moments? I don’t like to be in the crowd staring at singers, singing at me while I am trying to engage with Jesus through song. Personal opinion, but it distracts me. Why do we have to sing songs that are self focused and watery in its theology?
I suppose I’ll never know. Maybe, just maybe (more than likely), I’m just a jerk!